it’s come to a point where I need to see what is happening in words because maybe then I will comprehend where everything got weird, or where I just lost sight of how lucky I am.
at the moment, I do not feel good.
over the past week I have cried on four separate occasions and I’d be daft to say that they were all for stupid things, but y’see, I cried when dom told me to stop singing along to mamma mia. and I know if I was well in myself that wouldn’t have been my first reaction. I probably would’ve sang louder or something equally as obnoxious.
however, since these moments, I have found myself spiralling into sadness. not often, but far more than I should. and when I spiral I get ridiculous. and when I’m ridiculous, I say and do things which could make me appear to be what some may deem to be ‘a crazy bitch’.
in all honesty, I have no idea where this mood has come from; nothing outstandingly awful has happened to me and certainly nothing I haven’t come to terms with.
I wish I had someone to talk to. I know I do. but someone who wouldn’t judge me, or tell others. just someone who will listen and maybe even play with my hair.
I diagnosed myself with the ‘frazzles’ the other day. which was adorable enough to mask the fact I think it might be an issue. I look forward to my holiday from work because I have hopes it’ll solve everything. however, three more weeks is a long time to keep crying about things.